Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I Am Not the Person You're Looking For

In an attempt to expand the readership of my new blog "My Morbid Obsession," I've been networking with some of the big-wigs in the Civil War blogosphere. The other day I sent an email to one of the "Top 10 Civil War" bloggers, a woman who is a Ph.d candidate in military history. After telling her how much I enjoyed her posts, I asked her to review my blog. And, if she likes what she's reads, would she please make mention of it in her blog? Two days later I received this reply:

Hi David:
Unfortunately, I am not the person you're looking for...I get this quite a bit.
Suzanne *

I shot off a reply, trying to disguise how miffed I was:

Thanks for getting back. So who might be the person I'm looking for? Any thoughts?

You dork! (actually, I didn't add that last bit...)

Wow, I fumed. This big-shot blogger can't be bothered to take a minute or two out of her day to read my blog. So much for social networking. Who does she think she is, anyway? What a geek! Too self-involved, I guess. This whole Civil War blogosphere thing is a joke. What narrow-minded nerds! I guess I'm never gonna make the Big League. Maybe I'll drop "My Morbid Obsession." OMG, what a STUPID idea that blog was to begin with! Nobody reads it anyway.

And, then, after I settled down a bit, I became more philosophical. Wow! Look at you! This really pushed your button big time. What's up with that? I guess you need external validation to feel good about yourself. "I am not the person you're looking for." Well, who is? God? Some other "expert" out there who will tell you what a good job you did? How about finding validation within yourself? How about trusting what you love and going with it? Isn't that enough? Who cares what anybody else thinks. Boy, you need to slow down and meditate more. You're a lousy Zen student. What a wreck!

This morning, I got another reply:

David -
All I know is that there is another "Suzanne" -- who writes about civil wars. :)
Are you looking for that person?
I get emails quite frequently with requests etc. around that topic....
That is what I know..

OMG, I said to myself, did I just make that whole damn thing up in my head? That email never even made it to that big-wig Civil War blogosphere woman! I totally had her pegged as a selfish prig and myself as an utterly worthless human being! And I imagined the whole thing..

The stories that my mind spin out that have no basis whatsoever in REALITY are astounding. Anyone else ever experience this?

Please comment. (Maybe I'll feel better about myself...)

* For those of you who are astounded that I didn't figure out immediately that I had the wrong "Suzanne," my wife Sukie agrees with you. Add utterly "clueless" to my list of faults!

1 comment:

Sukie Curtis said...

The title reminds me of "We are the ones we are waiting for..." or something like that. Very humorously enlightening--kind of the way we learn, ain't it!